The buried uglies of my soul ...

I had some time today

to slow down

and check in

and connect with God

in a way I can't

when I am running.

But I couldn't settle.

I kept seeking out one more project to do,

one more chore,

one more thing I needed to check online

or read or research.

And then I settled in, and read this:

"At any given moment,

we all have an number of worries, fears,

guilt feelings, bad memories, and things we are procrastinating

about that we are simply putting out of our minds.

The difficulty with space,

especially interior spaciousness of soul,

is that it allows such repressed and suppressed annoyances

back into awareness.

When I pause for a moment and let my mind settle down, what comes in?

The things I have put off,

the worries I have been avoiding,

the bad feelings I have stifled.

Space is like sunlight 

and fresh air

toward which the buried uglies of our souls crawl

in search of healing."

(Gerald May)

Exactly what I was avoiding --

the "buried uglies" of my soul.

But I knew God wanted them to come out,

to be healed in his presence,

to receive a touch of his grace,

to be let go,

so that the grace,

mercy

and kindess of God

could fill me up instead.

 

Tags: Prayer, Sabbath Rhythm, Living Truthfully, Developing a Rule of Life