I think it was Teresa of Avila who said:
"Comparison is the death of the spiritual life."
Regardless of who first spoke these words, they are both brilliant and painfully true.
Especially when it comes to making the transition from parenting teenagers to parenting adults.
Each person makes that transition in their own way and in their own time.
Parents need to pay close attention to their own burgeoning young adults and adjust accordingly. There is no 3-step plan that works in all instances. There are no set rules. There is no one-size-fits-all protocol.
In this journey, we live not by the law, but by the spirit and the Spirit.
As I blog my way through the Top 10 list found in this teaching - Friends and Family: When We're All Grown Up - I am reminded (and want to remind each one of you) that we must not compare our newly formed adult children with other people's newly formed adult children.
Comparison is death.
So, as you find yourself going through this transition in your family - perhaps with one child, or many - keep your eyes on your own situation. Learn from others, of course. Watch others and adopt practices and skills and strategies that fit with your unique situation.
But don't compare. Don't judge. Don't fall into despair if your young adult seems stalled out, or hits a speed bump, or takes a bit more time to fly.
It's all ok.
Do your best.
Love. Have mercy. Be kind. Watch for grace moments.
Everyone eventually becomes an adult.
So, don't compare. It will surely kill your soul. And your young adult's soul, too.